Bummer Summer

I am officially on Summer Break. While not having to deal with the incredible amount of stress from school, the girls who I strongly dislike, and my creepy teacher, there are other things that are stressing me out now.

Firstly, I am at home like ALL the time with my family usually not doing anything. being really busy like at school keeps my depression and crying fits at bay, but with all this time and boredom at home, its hard to keep holding back my emotions. I am really afraid I am gonna break down in front of my family this summer and they will find out about my depression.

The good thing is that I start working next week. I never even have time to think about my emotions when I am at work. Plus, work kinda makes me happy. I get to meet new people everyday, gives me a motivation to wake up in the morning, and it keeps me away from home-the place my depression is rooted.

I keep trying to think of ways to better myself this summer, so I have set some goals. I do not have that many yet, and they seem a little silly but here’s what I have got so far:

  1. Get a tan
  2. Exercise after each work day
  3. Drink more water
  4. Wear less makeup
  5. Write a song

To be honest, I am excited to start most of these, but U have to say, number four is going to be the hardest for me.

I know that I am a pretty girl. But even more so when I wear makeup. See, I have acne that makes me VERY insecure about my looks. I don’t leave the house without it. But trust me, I HATE wearing makeup. I wish I was pretty without all of it. I hate the time it takes to put on, I hate that my friends don’t have to wear it everyday, and I hate that my DAD always makes jokes about it. Those jokes or comments my family, especially dad make, hurt my feelings actually a lot… they think I am ok with it but they don’t stop. like TRUST ME I wouldn’t wear an ounce of makeup if I did not feel sooooo ugly without it.

So this summer, I am gonna try to see if not wearing makeup helps me skin look any clearer. But its going to be VERY difficult because I do not like my co-workers seeing how ugly I am. I mean, my actual face is not ugly, but my acne looks gross and messes up the color in my face. Anyways, just pray I can do it.

If you have any suggestions that may help my acne, or any kind words of encouragement for me this summer, please comment below. It will be greatly appreciated:)


One thought on “Bummer Summer

  1. 21 & Speechless says:

    I don’t want to say anything negative about your goals, because they are personal ones that may bring you more confidence. However, I do want to encourage you to think outside of that physical box. You are beautiful whether you are tan, have acne, have stretch marks- whatever. No amount of “physical” perfection will satisfy you. Pursue the goals that you want to, but please take time to appreciate the way that you are now. Perhaps you could also add a few more things like:

    – Work on self confidence
    -Incorporate more vitamins into your diet
    – Read a great book
    – Spend more time with family

    Just some suggestions! I hope that you accomplish all of your goals, and have an amazing summer!!


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