Trying Life

As you can probably tell from my recent posts, I have been really down lately. No matter how hard I try, its impossible to keep me motivated because of my depression. My typical day goes like this: wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, go to bed. On weekends, I might even pass up going out with my friends because I don’t want to shower, get dressed, and drive there.

However, I woke up the other day with this strong feeling of “change”. That word literally kept repeating in my head all day since I woke up. I was so confused on why this was happening. I guess this was a way of my brain literally telling me I have to change.

Since that day, I have tried making efforts to do better and more. I workout a little bit now. I eat healthier. I even woke up that day thinking I will not watch porn anymore. I actually did stop for a few days, like I just was not into it and it did not appeal to me. For some reason, I did watch it a couple times since then but I woke up today just thinking how stupid it is and how empty it leaves me when I am finished. I also talk to my friends from my old school a little bit more and I am currently in the process of making plans to see them soon.

The only problem is, even though I am making these changes in my life, they do not always make me feel any happier. I thought being more physically healthy would help my brain but it doesn’t. I need ya’ll’s help in giving me advice on this issue I am having.

I reallyyyyy encourage you to comment some kind words for me down below. I would like advice on staying motivated, or being happier. Or say anything you would like. Your words always put me in a little bit of a better mood. Thanks so much for reading my blog. I love you guys:)