There is not a day that goes by that I don’t feel bad about myself. I feel bad in two forms: low confidence or self hate. Every so often I will feel really really ugly. Like everyone else around me suddenly seems 10x prettier than I am. I notice everything wrong with myself. I feel … Continue reading Hates not that strong of a word.
Have you ever had a huuuuuuuuuuuuge desire to do something or be something? Did you accomplish or get it? How happy were you? Well I have this enormous incredible desire and the worst part is, I do not think I will ever get it. See, I want so bad to be able to write beautiful … Continue reading A Desire: A little something about me, just because.
Wet as Canyon Lake. Wet as the succulent on my window sill. Wet as my hair right now. Wet as Sophie's uncle's pool. Wet as the mop closet at work. Wet as the creek behind my middle school. My wetness could fill the entire Pacific Ocean. It could fill my green Camelback water bottle. … Continue reading I am Wet
I need to start uplifting myself. (If that makes sense). I need to change my mental health. This sadness is intense. My world is spiraling down. I need to get some sleep. I feel like I will drown. Everything makes me weep.
I have severe depression. I have not told anyone in my family about it. I am scared they will do nothing to help and that will damage and hurt me even more. I told my best friend about it but it makes her uncomfortable to talk about it, I think so I don't bring it … Continue reading I Am Dying
If anyone actually keeps up with my blog, you would know about that guy I always talk about and how he made me more depressed than ever, and that he died, and probably never loved me as much as I love him, or even at all....blah blah blah. BUT GUESS WHAT?! The other night, I … Continue reading It’s a Miracle
Hi. I have not been on my blog for a really long time. But after my mom raided my closet, I thought it was about time to get back on. Let me explain: It is summer, so I have been keeping myself busy at my summer job. It distracts me from myself in a way … Continue reading Not That You Care…
I am officially on Summer Break. While not having to deal with the incredible amount of stress from school, the girls who I strongly dislike, and my creepy teacher, there are other things that are stressing me out now. Firstly, I am at home like ALL the time with my family usually not doing anything. … Continue reading Bummer Summer
This is a little exercise I wanted to try in case it helps me feel a little less sad all the time. Basically, I will be writing some positive things about myself an try to really focus on them throughout the day. Some of them sound a little silly.....You should try this too! I have … Continue reading Affirmations
For the past few weeks, I have been having a mental breakdown almost every day. I cry and sometimes do not know why. Sometimes it is because I miss someone or sometimes I just hate who I am. And then it hit me. I am overly emotional. I can switch from happy to sad in … Continue reading It Hit Me
As you can probably tell from my recent posts, I have been really down lately. No matter how hard I try, its impossible to keep me motivated because of my depression. My typical day goes like this: wake up, go to school, come home, do homework, eat dinner, go to bed. On weekends, I might … Continue reading Trying Life
Have you ever met someone so great, you wish you hadn't? I have. December of last year, I met a man online. He was everything I wanted and more. He was the only person in the entire world that made me forget that I had depression. Overtime we talked, good came out of it; whether … Continue reading How Do You Say Goodbye?